Coming of Age program for gr. 8-10
Written and compiled by Dan Harper, v. 1.5.2
Copyright (c) 2014-2023 Dan Harper
Light revision, April, 2022; cosmetic revision, January, 2023
Overview
In the Coming of Age program, every youth participant is assigned a mentor to help them write their statement of spiritual/religious identity.
Mentors and youth should plan to meet once a month, for about an hour each time (i.e., about 5 meetings from Jan. to May). The sole goal of the mentor is to help the youth write their statement of spiritual/religious identity. Mentors can help the young person by acting as a sounding board, a coach, and/or a cheerleader.
Mentors are also invited to attend Coming of Age classes. While this is optional for mentors, note that there are a couple of classes where they will be specifically invited. Mentors are particularly helpful during the class sessions devoted to writing statements of religious identity. Note that visiting some classes can count as one of the monthly meetings with the youth.
1. Finding mentors
During the program, every youth participant needs a mentor to help them write their statement of religious identity.
Some families will have a adult mentor in mind, and they may set up a mentor relationship with that adult after consulting with the Minister of Religious Education.
However, many families will not have an adult in mind, in which case the Coming of Age teachers and the Minister of Religious Education will help them find a compatible adult.
2. Logistics of mentor meetings
Mentors and youth typically begin to meet in January. Mentors should never meet one-on-one alone with a legal minor, as this violates safety policies for adults working with legal minors. Most mentors and youth find that a good place to meet is in a public place like a quiet but public corner of the church during social hour after the service.
Mentors and youth should plan to meet once a month from January through May, for a total of five meetings, for about an hour each month. Both youth and adults are busy these days. We have found the single most convenient meeting time is Sunday mornings, usually after the worship service. Online video conference meetings are fine, as long as the parents are notified and present when the meeting takes place.
If mentors are able to attend Coming of Age class sessions, a few of those sessions can count as one of the monthly meetings. If the mentor attends the field trip to see Asian art, the mentor and youth can tour the museum together. Also, see below about the sessions on writing the statements of spiritual/religious identity.
3. Goal of the mentoring relationship
The primary goal of the mentor is to help the youth write their statement of spiritual/religious identity. (We hope that a friendly relationship will grow out of this work, but it is not required.) Mentors can help the young person by acting as a sounding board, a coach, and a cheerleader.
Mentors may wish to start by looking over the “Sample Statements of Spiritual/Religious Identity” packet, online).
Sample Statements of Spiritual/Religious Identity (PDF)
- For a conversation-starter, you could talk with your mentee about the “Seven Big Religious Questions,” which are at the end of the packet, and which the youth have already talked about in class. Then act as a sounding board: listen to what the youth says, and ask leading questions to help them think more deeply about their answers.
- It’s often a good idea to start outlining the statements of spiritual/religious identity in March. Act as a coach, to help them through the process of getting their thoughts down on paper. This is not English class at school, and it’s OK to let them dictate their thoughts to you while you type or write for them. Just make sure the thoughts are theirs, and the words sound like the way they talk.
- Many youth at this age get bogged down in the process. Or they may feel like their statement of religious identity is going to be terrible. Or they might just get stuck. That’s when you play the coach or cheerleader role — encourage them, help them stay focused and motivated.
4. Other mentor activities
A. Mentors will be invited to attend some of the Coming of Age classes (although attendance is optional). Mentors are particularly helpful during the class sessions devoted to writing statements of religious identity, and you might want to schedule that as one of your mentor/mentee meetings. The schedule of classes and topics for each week are online here.
B. Mentors are of course invited to attend the Coming of Age service (see online schedule for date), but this is not required.