1st visit – Yet Another UU Curriculum Site

Neighboring Religious Communities, part 1
A curriculum for grades 6-8
By Dan Harper, v. 1.0.1
Copyright (c) 2019-2021 Dan Harper
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FIRST VISIT: Another UU congregation

Logistics and advance planning: arrange visit to First Unitarian Church in San Jose (or other UU congregation) on Sept. __

Session 1: Intro to the course
Session 2: What makes a UU? Visiting another UU congregation
Session 3: Visiting First Unitarian in San Jose (alternate years: Redwood City UU Fellowship) or another UU congregation
Session 4: Talking about the field trip
Resources: Photos of Interiors of UU buildings

Session 1: Intro to the course

A. Take attendance, light the chalice

Each week a different young person can light the chalice. (For online classes, assign this a week in advance, so the young person can have a chalice ready, or a drawing of a chalice, or a chalice app on their phone.) While they’re lighting the chalice, say the standard chalice lighting words for our congregation.

B. Check in

Check-in type 1 (online or in-person):

Check-in consists of saying (1) a good thing from your past week, (2) a bad thing from your past week, plus (3) answering the check-in question. Each week there’s a different check-in question (e.g., “If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go and why?”). For the first couple of weeks, the teachers can generate check-in questions, but after that teachers can ask the participants to come up with check-in questions. To make it easier for online classes, type into chat the order in which people are going to check in.

Check-in type 2 (in-person):

Place three jars of water on the table: one labeled with a happy face, one labeled with a sad face, and one labeled with a question mark. Everyone gets three marbles to drop in the jars. Before you drop your marbles in the jars, say your name. When you drop a marble in the jar with a happy face, you can say something good that happened to you in the past week: “I’m happy because….” When you drop a marble in the jar with the sad face, you can say something bad that happened in the past week: “I’m sad because….” And when you drop a marble in the jar with the question mark you can say something that you wonder about: “I wonder….”

C. Getting-to-know-you games

In this first class, play some games so participants can learn each other’s names (including the names of the teachers!), and so that they can feel more comfortable together as a group.
Games for in-person classes are here.
Games for online classes are here.

D. Overview of the course: UU good will ambassadors

Say something like this:

“In this course, we’ll be visiting different religious communities that are near our own congregation. Our first visit will be to another Unitarian Universalist congregation — that’s an easy visit, because we know we’ll be welcome, and we know they won’t be too much different from us. After that, we’ll be visiting religious communities where we have less in common. In some cases, we may disagree with most of the beliefs and rituals of the other religious community.

“When we make these visits, here’s something we should keep in mind. The most important thing for us Unitarian Universalists is NOT belief or ritual, the most important thing for us is making the world a better place.

“Even though we may not agree with the beliefs and rituals of many religious communities, most religious communities are doing things to make the world a better place. So we have to ask ourselves — how can we work with other religious communities to make the world a better place? Our congregation already works with other religious communities on making the world a better place. We are part of Hotel de Zink, a homeless shelter that stays for a month at a time in 12 different churches and religious communities over the course of a year. We are part of Multifaith Voices for Peace and Justice, a group that, among other things, supports immigration rights and wants to end warfare. We are part of Peninsula Interfaith Action, a group that works for affordable housing, better schools, and safer communities….”

E. A guide to visiting nearby religious communities

Show the following video introduction to the class:

Next, talk about some or all of the questions below. Or talk about other questions brought up by the video.

Which kind of building do you prefer, a simple building or a building with a lot of decorations?
What do you think of our congregation’s building? — more on the simple end the scale, or more on the highly decorated end?
What do you think about the clothing you saw people wearing in this video?
What do you think about our own congregation — people dress up, or they dress down? (By the way, why do we dress the way we do?)
When you visit other religious communities, what kind of music do you expect to hear?
In our own congregation, do you like the music? If not, what kind of music would you prefer?

F. Another game

If there’s time, play another getting-to-know-you game. For online classes, we find that the “Getting-To-Know-You” questions work well.

G. Closing circle

In-person method:

Stand in a circle. Go around circle, everyone says one thing they learned today. Then using the poster in the classroom, say the words of the unison benediction together.

Online method:

Ask everyone to say one thing they learned today. Go in the same order that people checked in (since you already typed that into chat). When done with that, paste the text below in the chat. Ask everyone to unmute and say this aloud at once (resulting in enjoyable cacophony).

Go out into the world in peace
Be of good courage
Hold fast to what is good
Return no one evil for evil
Strengthen the fainthearted
Support the weak
Help the suffering
Rejoice in beauty
Speak love with word and deed
Honor all beings.

Session 2: What makes a UU? Visiting another UU congregation

A. Take attendance, light the chalice

B. Check in

Click here for check-in instructions.

C. Video: What we look like to others

What do UU congregations look like to someone who isn’t a Unitarian Universalist? Here’s a video by an atheist who attended a UU church in Oklahoma, and did a review of what he experienced:

Did you like what the atheist said about the UU service?
How was the congregation he visited different from ours?

D. What’s most important in a Unitarian Universalist worship service?

What do you think is most important in a Unitarian Universalist worship service? Write the following items on a flip chart (in person) or copy this list into chat (online):

Listening to music
Lighting a chalice
Having quiet time for meditation or prayer
Singing songs together
Listening to a sermon
Eating coffee and snacks
Meeting friendly people
What else would you add to this list?

“In a moment, we’re going to vote on each of these things. What are the two most important things on this list, two things that YOU must have in a UU worship service? Take a moment of quiet to think about it.”

Go down the list. For each item on the list, ask how many think that item is most important. For each person who thinks an item is most important, put 2 check marks beside that item.

Next, go down the list. For each item, ask how many that item is second most important. For each person who thinks an item is second most important, put 1 check mark beside that item.

“Let’s look at the list. We’re going to visit another UU congregation next week. Do you expect they will have the things we voted on as most important?”

E. Preparing for the visit

Online visits:

To prepare for the visit, the teachers should do a little advance research about how the religious community you’re visiting does online services. At a minimum, you’ll want to know:

if others in the service will be able to see you (if so, what should you wear)
how long the service is, and whether we’re staying for the whole thing

If the service is on Facebook Live, Youtube Live, etc., then we find it works well to set up a separate Zoom call for the class, so we can see each other and discuss the service in the chat while it’s going on. For Zoom services, we might want to experiment with setting up a chat for the class (e.g. set up a Slack channel) so we can discuss the service while it’s going on.

Ideally, teachers will also look up the religion in the book How To Be a Perfect Stranger so we know what we’d expect if this were an in-person service.

In-person visits:

To prepare for a visit, the teachers should read over the relevant section in How To Be a Perfect Stranger. In particular, they should identify things that the young people will need to know. We try especially to let the young people know:

what the dress code will be;
where and how they will be expected to sit (in pews in mainline Protestant churches; on the floor in a Sikh gurdwara; stand the whole time in a Russian Orthodox church; girls separate from boys in an Orthodox Jewish temple; etc.)
what, if anything, they will be expected to do (take or not take communion in Christian churches; eat the pudding in a Sikh gurdwara; sing, pray, genuflect, etc.)

Even when visiting another Unitarian Universalist congregation, we’ll follow these principles. So to get in this habit, look up Unitarian Universalism in How To Be a Perfect Stranger and see what’s expected.

We also help the young people strategize about how they will behave in the case of longer periods of quiet meditation (e.g., at a Quaker meeting, at a Unity Church). And we talk about how they should behave during the social hour afterwards (e.g., don’t grab too much food, wait until others have eaten, etc.). Sometimes, it can be useful to look at a religious community’s Web site, to see if they have video snippets of services to see how people are behaving, photos showing what people are wearing, etc.

In the case of a worship service at another Unitarian Universalist congregation, what are going to be the difficult parts? Sitting still for the entire sermon, maybe? What about this: is it OK to say something during “Joys and Concerns” if you’re just visiting? And how much money (if any) should you put in the collection basket? Anything else you can think of?

F. Play a game

If there’s time, play a game. For online classes, we find that the “Getting-To-Know-You” questions work well.

G. Closing circle

See above for closing circle.

Session 3: Visiting another UU congregation

Online visits:

It’s nice to send out a reminder with the link to the service, either the night before or half an hour before the service starts. If you’re setting up a separate class Zoom meeting or chat, start that meeting 10-15 minutes early in case someone wants to log on early and say hi. We find that most of us are ready to log off as soon as the online service is over.

In-person visits:

As families arrive on the morning of the visit, one teacher checks in each young person, and makes sure they have a signed permission form (unless their parent is going on the trip). The other teacher engages the class in conversation about what they might expect, and what to look for when they arrive at the place they’re going to visit. All this may happen in the parking lot, depending on your schedule. However, if there’s time, go in to the classroom and light a flaming chalice and do check-in. This helps center everyone.

Then split up into cars, and drive to the place you’re visiting. Plan to arrive so that you have time to park, and so that you will have at least ten minutes from the time you set foot on the doorstep to the beginning of the service. Ideally, you will have made a contact at the site you’re visiting, and they will welcome you; if so, you should arrive at the time they ask.

After the service is over, attend the social hour (if there is one) for 10-20 minutes. Then back into the cars, and head back to the parking lot for parent pick-up.

Session 4: Talking about the field trip

This session is a chance to talk about differences and similarities between Unitarian Universalist congregations.

A. Take attendance, light the chalice

Each week a different young person can light the chalice. Then say the standard chalice lighting words for our congregation.

B. Check in

Click here for check-in instructions.

C. Processing the field trip experience: What, So what, Now what?

1. “What happened?”: 5-10 minutes

Teachers prompt the young people to collectively give a narrative account of what happened on the trip: What happened when we arrived, what did you see and hear? What happened next? And next? What people did you meet? Etc. (If there are young people or teachers who did not attend the field trip last session, this is a chance to tell them what happened on the trip, in some detail.)

2. “What was important?”: 5-10 minutes

A. Feelings:

In person: Stand up if this is how you felt at any time during the service:

Online: Raise your hand if this is how you felt at any time during the service:

Peaceful
Excited
Hopeful
Worried
Cheerful
Sad
Comfortable
Uncomfortable
Any other feelings….

B. Music and arts:

Thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs to the side (online):

Ask them to describe the music they heard. Then say: “Thumbs up if you liked the music, thumbs down if you didn’t, or thumbs to the side if you’re somewhere in between.” Ask different people to say why they voted the way they did.

Ask them to describe any art or beautiful objects they saw. Then say: “Thumbs up if you liked the art, thumbs down if you didn’t, or thumbs to the side if you’re somewhere in between.” Ask different people to say why they voted the way they did. Repeat for the building (or the set).

Values voting (in person):

Ask them to describe the music they heard. Then say: “If you really liked the music go to this side of the room [point], if you really didn’t like it go to the other side [point], or you can stand somewhere in the middle.” Ask people at the extremes and/or in the middle to what the music made them feel like.

Ask them to describe any art or beautiful objects they saw. Ask them to describe the building. Then say: “If you liked the art objects you saw, go to this side of the room [point], if you didn’t go to that side of the room [point], or you can stand somewhere in the middle.” Ask people at the extremes and/or in the middle to what the music made them feel like. Repeat for the building.

C. Social norms:

Open discussion (in person):

Have a free-for-all discussion to discuss these or other social norms: Who was the most important person (or people) in this service? Could you tell who was in charge of the religious community? Who was friends with whom? Were there cliques, could you see an in-group and an out-group, or did everyone seem to get along with everyone?

Raised hands discussion (online):

Raise hands to answer these or other questions about social norms: Who got to appear on screen? How much did the worship leader appear onscreen? How about the musicians? Who else got to appear onscreen? Did you ever see the tech crew (camera operators, sound crew, etc.)? Did you ever get to see ordinary members of the congregation?

D. Polite & impolite:

Generate a list (online):

Type into chat what you saw people wearing on screen. What was the most common thing to wear (for males, for females, for any other genders)? Did worship leaders wear something different from musicians? What about ordinary people, if you saw them?

Here are some behaviors you might have seen on screen: (1) Talking softly, talking loudly; (2) Looking down, looking up, looking directly at the camera or others; (3) Different genders behaved the same or differently; (4) Leaders behaved differently from ordinary people. Type into chat the behaviors you saw. Did you feel comfortable with the way people behaved? Did anything make you feel uncomfortable?

Brainstorming (in person):

On a flip chart, make 2 horizontal headings: Clothing; Behavior. Starting with clothing, brainstorm a list of what people were wearing. What was the most common thing to wear (for males, for females, any other genders)? Next go to behavior, and brainstorm a list of things you could and couldn’t do in the service, and at social hour. Finally, see if you can think of anything else that was considered polite or impolite.

3. “Now what?”: 2-3 minutes

Open discussion: Imagine our congregation wanted to work on a social justice project with the field trip site. Based on what you saw in the service, and/or what you know about this religious community, can you think of any social justice projects we might possibly cooperate on? If we were going to cooperate, how would we reach out to them (whom would we contact, how formal would we have to be, etc.)?

D. What’s most important in a UU worship service?

Before the visit, the class did an activity where they determined what were the most important elements of a UU worship service. Now that they’ve visited another UU church, we’ll go to go into this more deeply.

Either on a flip chart (in person) or in chat (online), have participants help you list all the different elements of a Unitarian Universalist worship service. Below is a fairly comprehensive list of elements that you might encounter in an ordinary UU service, though not all congregations will include all these elements:

announcements about the congregation
announcements about social justice work
opening music (prelude)
opening words
lighting a flaming chalice
children’s story
silent time
time for prayer
joys and concerns (also known as caring and sharing, joys and sorrows)
songs everyone sings
songs sung by a choir
readings
taking an offering
music during the offering
any other music
reflection by someone other than the minister
sermon
talk-back (open discussion of the sermon)
closing words (benediction)
closing music (postlude)

And here are some elements you might find in an unusual UU service:

play or drama
child dedication
special ritual (communion, flower communion, etc.)

Voting (online):

Copy the list from chat to something where you can record votes (in a word processor, on paper, whatever).

Ask everyone to raise their hand for what is MOST IMPORTANT TO THEM PERSONALLY. Each person gets one vote, and record each vote as 2 points. Next participants vote on the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM PERSONALLY. Each person gets one vote, but this time record each second-place vote as 1 point. Add up the points for each worship service element, and tell everyone which got the highest total. Invite reactions (any surprises?).

Next ask everyone to raise their hand for NOT A REAL UU SERVICE WITHOUT IT. Each person gets one vote per item, and they can vote for as many items as they think are essential for UU worship services. Go down the list and record their votes. Stir up dissension by pointing out that special services may not have some of these elements (e.g., Christmas Eve candlelight service has no joys and concerns; the No-Rehearsal Christmas Pageant has no sermon; etc.) Stir up more dissension by asking: Can we do without music? Can we do without songs sung by everyone? Can we do without a minister? etc. Allow people to revise their votes if they want.

Do NOT expect to come up with any final answers in this exercise.

To end this exercise, tell participants that there can be a lot of variation in Unitarian Univeralist worship services. King’s Chapel in Boston, a Unitarian Universalist church, has communion every month. There are some UU congregations that do not light a flaming chalice. In some UU congregations, they don’t have a sermon at all; instead they have what they call an address or a talk. And so on. In short, one of the more interesting things about Unitarian Universalism is that we don’t all exactly the same thing in worship services.

Voting (in person):

On the flip chart, make two columns to the left of the list, so you can record votes. Title the first column “Most important to YOU” and the second column is titled “Not a real UU service without it.”

In the first column record points for what is MOST IMPORTANT TO THEM PERSONALLY. Each person gets one vote, which counts for 2 points. Next participants vote on the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM PERSONALLY. Each person gets one vote, which counts for 1 point. Add up the points for each worship service element, and see which one gets the highest total. Invite reactions (any surprises?).

In the second column record points for NOT A REAL UU SERVICE WITHOUT IT. Each person gets one vote per item, and you can vote for as many items as you think are essential for UU worship services. Go down the list and ask for votes. Stir up dissension by pointing out that special services may not have some of these elements (e.g., Christmas Eve candlelight service has no joys and concerns; the No-Rehearsal Christmas Pageant has no sermon; etc.) Stir up more dissension by asking: Can we do without music? Can we do without songs sung by everyone? Can we do without a minister? etc. Allow people to revise their votes if they want.

Do NOT expect to come up with any final answers in this exercise.

E. Writing a thank you note

Write a thank you note to the site, and/or to the host who greeted you.

F. Play a game

If there’s time, play a game. For online classes, we find that the “Getting-To-Know-You” questions work well.

G. Closing circle

Click here for closing circle instructions.

Interiors of UU buildings

Interior of King’s Chapel, Boston. This UU congregation was originally an Anglican church, but during the American Revolution the congregation left the Church of England and declared itself Unitarian. This photo shows the high pulpit with a “sounding board” suspended overhead; the sounding board is 18th century audio technology that helps amplify the speaker’s voice for the congregation. Notice the sculptures, the gilt-edged book on the pulpit, polished silver on the altar table, and other art objects.

Interior of Unity Temple, Chicago. Designed as a Unitarian church by Frank Lloyd Wright and completed in 1908. Notice the decorative chairs in front of the pulpit, the altar table, and the decorative lamps. All these decorative elements were designed by the architect.

Interior of the Main Hall, UU Church of Palo Alto, California. Designed by Joseph Esherick as a Unitarian church and completed in 1958. This photo was taken while livestreaming during lockdown in the pandemic in 2020. If you look at the screen that the video tech is looking at, you can see that the only decorative elements seen by online viewers was the wooden carved flaming chalice. Viewers were sometimes also shown the madrone branch over the speaker, and a bell and candle to the speaker’s left. The viewers were usually not shown one of the most interesting decorative objects in this space, the large bowl lamps. One of these is visible in this photo, at the top in the center. These lamps are actually ordinary parking lot lights turned upside down, a humorous touch that goes along with the informal character of the room.

The exterior of First Unitarian Church in San Jose, built as a Unitarian church in 1892. The church uses theater-style seats that flip up when not in use. The center of the main worship space is a large labyrinth (seen in this photo with children walking on it).